BBJ, I know the feeling. Sometimes I question why I still care about him. And then sometimes, I don't care at all.

LOL, last night I was watching as my Tween is starting to become a teenager, she is starting to hang out with friends in the evening outside, stuff like that. And my first instinct was to call the SG, not that he would care, but even after three years sometimes he is the one I want to share it with.

Instead, I sat back and marveled at the teenager she is becoming, enjoying the fact that she is socializing better.

And I think to myself, is it just easier for me to revert back to the "I still love the SG" phase to avoid really getting out there again? I know that I am not ready, and have accepted that. But sometimes I wonder if I am ready, and an avoiding it all so I don't have to deal with it.

I know at somepoint I will, potentially, meet someone and these silly questions won't matter anymore. Still, I know there are things I need to let go of so that I don't carry them into another relationship.

What happened to the easy days when you could just say f*ck it and move on? LOL, all of a sudden we become so over analytical, and I realize this comes with maturity.

But sometimes I miss those days...

Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..