My WAW - Chat/Text Msg affair with her ex

[Dan1977]

I still plan to see the lawyer today even though that conversation sent everything into a tizzy yesterday. My wife has dropped the lawyer talk on me many times and said she was entitled to half of everything and would get the kids most of the time. Well making comments like that makes me think she's jockying for position, so what other choice did I have other than go to a lawyer as well. She now claims she never went to a lawyer, and it was all just talk. I really hate all this lawyer talk, I wish I never told another soul about my appointment today, that was a big mistake on my part. Maybe my wife needs to know what could happen if she chooses her dillusional path of divorce. I don't care so much about all the material things (although I'm sure I would later in life), but I can't bare to think of not seeing my kids. I love my kids so much, it is my sole purpose in life to keep my family together at this stage. Losing them is equal to me losing my meaning in life.

Using these techniques of challenging my wife or giving her ultimatums only makes her more stubborn it seems and want to leave or get divorced even more. Yesterday she said many times she's had someone in her life control her every move and now I do the same. Her parents really did control a lot of things in her life, but I'm not like that and she is trying to make me out to be someone I'm not so she can justify all this divorce business. I really think my wife needs some counseling, but she would never go. She almost went to a psychologist several months back to talk about her anxiety issues, but then she cancelled the appointment. I wish she would have went because I swear half the time it's her anxiety speaking and not her true self. You know how you say things you don't really mean if youre working on raw emotion (anger, sadness, depression etc...). It's like she feels cornered very quickly and her anxiety sets in, and rational conversation is out the door and then it's she wants a divorce, she never has loved me, I'm a good person, but she doesn't love me anymore...All these catch phrases I've read so much about.

My wife is under the dillusion that divorce would be fine and our kids won't have any issues over it and everything will be the same. She said she will still see them everyday no matter what because she would come to see them all the time when she doesn't have them. I can't agree with that because I know we won't have vacations, camping trips, dinner time, road trips, holidays etc...ever again.

My wife and I were madly in love at one point in time and I know it could be restored if we could just work through this tough time. She is so closed off to me right now, she has convinced herself she doesn't love me and never did. It's very difficult to hear that, but I know this is not the same woman speaking to me that I married.

Dan