I read through your sitch and wrote reply last night that got lost.
Why are you on the Piecing board?
It doesn't seem like that's where you are.
What I saw in your posts is a lot of anger and that you have wounds that are hurting you and will only drive your W away.
All the DBing strategies you did have gotten you here. The thing you missed was focuing on YOU. This process IMO is more about getting yourself healthy and figuring out what YOU want. You can't do that when you are focused on who W is sleeping with, talking to, not talking to, working for or whatever. I know this sounds counter intuitive but you have to pull back and focus on you.
IMO tactics and strategies don't work. They may have short term effects but they don't have longevity because real change has not occured. Your W is having a lot of confusion and pain right now. That is all you need understand about it becasue YOU can't fix it. She is blaming you for this and searching for someone or something to take this pain away. New man. New Job. Whatever.
You have to have to detach from this cycle she is in. If no one gave you this link here it is:
This is the GAL part. You need to get a life for you. Not as a means to an end...strategy to get W back.
When you get to a healthy place you can make good decisions about your life, your W and your M.
She is not the stronger one right now. You are. But you are not being the strongest man you can be for your family. You are the walking wounded right now. You need to heal yourself and that takes time, commitment, courage and patience.
If you keep moving down this path you will be divorced most likely. Your M is still is crisis.
Who do YOU want to be?
I am on the MLC boards. You can find me over there.
Good luck.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
