Your H is attempting to manipulate you, which is totally normal given the situation.
Yes filing for D is an option…
Is that an option you want to pursue?
Personally, I think it is time to just start living for you and you alone. If he wants to assist with something, like moving furniture, fine, but I don’t see where doing anything for him, or allowing him to do anything for you (decorating your room) would do you any good.
The time has come to continue living your life. You and your children are settled for now. I would simply stop having the conversations about moving. You are looking for him to indicate reconciliation by agreeing to one of you moving and he is not ready for that. Because he knows you are willing to go there, that you want to go there if he will agree, he knows he still has you on a string. Because you are letting him keep you there. Which is part of why he keeps trying to have sex with you.
While your answer to that is appropriate, it shows that you are thinking all about him and his actions and not about you. I would love to hear your answer be more along the lines of “I don’t want to do that with someone who only wants that from me”. This is not a casusual relationship.
Until you can really stop letting your life, your decisions, your desires, be affected by every thought this man has and every action he shows you, you will continue to live in this state of confusion.
If you can detatch, just simply accept the kind gestures for what they are instead of looking for some hidden meaning, watch him continue to live his life and be accepting for what ever he is trying to do for himself (as crazy as it may seem to us), you may not wonder quite so much exactly what the meaning behind everything is and you may start to really find the peace and answers that we all seek through this.
While no one can tell you what those answers will be, you will know what the right ones are for you.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
