Yeah, it's locked up. He went over that one night and later I saw keys in his truck, so I assumed he made copies and went over to change the locks a second time. At that point, I found that he had given me the key back but left the back door unlocked. Pretty bad, it's not a crime ridden neighborhood, but not high class either... it's blue collar, so the expensive lighting and tools could have been stolen.
XBF was an amazing, extremely intelligent man with severe mental issues that stemmed from a messed up childhood. As soon as his mother got him hooked on drugs, he was out the door and out of his mind... so, no, he was never on time for anything, he struggled with low self esteem despite being gorgeous, smart and very well liked in high school. Oh well, it was a loss to the world when he died without having overcome. And lie, this man would tell you that he was born of a virgin one minute and in a petri dish the next, and EXPECT - EARNESTLY EXPECT - you to believe it. That was only when he was high, or seeking a high, though. Yeah, maybe that R with him was meant to teach me how to handle H. I think I'm going to reflect on what happened with XBF and what worked/didn't work and see if any of it will help me here.
One of the things I'm seeing similar is that when H is expecting or on the way to see OW, he's angry, angry, angry. Swearing, just not himself at all, and on the way back, he's alternating between anger and silence, but while with her, it's all "yes, baby, you're so smart, you make me SO happy."
It's the high and the expectation of it, and when it's over, he's still empty. I clearly see it now... I'm glad I gathered the intel I did and I'm glad that I decided not to pursue it any longer, as it will do me no good to get dragged down into his addiction.
You got it... if you can see the addiction, steer clear...
If confronting him doens't do much damage to the A, then its best not to go there... protect yourself first.. he's headed for a fallout eventually and you don't want to be around...
I've given myself a new name and a new attitude. I'm still not sure of whether I should be exposing/hitting the A hard or not, or letting it ride and standing ala MLC forum techniques, but I do know that I'm not happy with who I was/am right now and I've decided to take a positive stance and hit MYSELF hard with renewal and updating/work. So, please come visit me from time to time over on my new thread - don't forget about me.
