Today was a great day! everything went well and smoothly! Went to baby doc... all is well... and H was supportive and asking questions and just a true Dad! He cancelled his day of classes, to my suprise and from there we went to register for baby things! So much fun! So happy to have him there and share in the decisions and fun. i also think it was a reality setter (for me too) that a BABY is on the way and we need to get out acts together and get ready! Actually H was more on board than I was and took charge, and said we need to get ready, our son may be here in 4-8 weeks! Yikes!!! We got along soooooo well, I looked my best, felt my best, and truly felt happy, calm and whole. We laughed and like all of the same things. and there were a lot of 'we' refernces from H. talked about bathing/feeding/rocking/reading/playing/strolling son and how he would be there in the middle of the night to help, and so on. I didnt question it... I just let it be. I did see some moments of when he would just stare at me, and I made sure to smile and be happy. Today was a 'normal' perfect day for 'us'. Hope he saw that too.
Sent me several texts and so on afterwards. I am sticking to my mantra, no expectations. Made me feel good to see that at the very least, H is planning to be there for baby. Hope it stays that way.
But I do wish that he felt moments of 'what if...' and 'could things ever be' between us. I can not lie and say I didnt and still do.
Who knows... it actually felt like a first date... ahhhhhh
Overall, I am glad I made the decision to allow him be a part. It made me happy today. I felt good about myself. I felt happy about the baby. I just felt happy.
