yeah, that term "working through" is kind of a cliche that doesn't have much meaning. I think it just means being willing to be present in the moment with your emotions, without running from them or medicating or numbing out or distracting yourself. going internally wherever they take you, and occasionally stepping back and seeing how it all looks from the perspective of who you are now. anger is empowering, helpful in the moving forward.
I know what you mean about spending too much time in the "shattering" phase--except it was as much time as we needed to be there, I think. if you moved on to the next phase, you weren't too stuck. those are the most painful parts, tho--that coming-to-terms with the shock of it all, grasping the new reality. I like the anger phase much better!!!
hang in there for that first hour of mindfulness--it will get to be a habit, and a good one.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
