Yep, I feel dragged out...especially turning 50 this week....gag!!!!
About H: I am not sure. He still has little to no contact so basically he is not in my life and I can forget him but I still miss him and our marriage. The hardest part is missing "family". Basically, it is all gone (recap - between 2006 and 2009 had 3 major deaths and my husband and daughter left me). My daughter told me yesterday when I told her that I missed seeing her (she can see me but is "too busy") that she had to go find her own family. That hurts so I guess I am still dealing with the downfall of what has happened.
I know that if I came to the board now and read someone saying that 4 years later they are still hurting, I would be devastated. My life is ok and, in some ways, I really do enjoy being alone. I have some wonderful people in my life who I came to know because of this and I would hate them to not be in my life. I have done a lot of fun traveling and activities from pole dancing, to belly dancing to pottery. It isn't a bad life but there is a piece that is gone and like a circle with a piece out of it, I don't roll like I use too.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
We would have never believed it if anyone ever tried to tell us such strange things would pass our way.
I think your H probably sits in front of a video game a lot with no one left to yell at, and tries very hard not to think about his life. He sounds like he has ruled out putting any effort into a D, at least for now.
Not sure a card would stir him up much. Not sure a Space Shuttle sized blender would either. He sounds like he is just too checked out to invest much energy in his life, much less anyone else's.
Leaving you didn't solve his problems. Having the OW sure didn't work out. Maybe the video game will keep him warm. As for that piece you feel is missing from your life, don't forget that he couldn't possible fit into your life very easily right now.
That hole he left has changed shapes as you have changed and become someone better.
He is not the same shape he used to be. Besides the few pounds he put on, he'll eventually have to work on changing things about himself in order to fit the current void in your life. You would not like the person you would have to become to accomodate the new him. Imagine playing Twister with double vision.
"RRiigghhtt HHaanndd - BBlluuee" ... You wouldn't know where to begin. I think he has to continue his journey a while, no matter how that ends.
Hi Was2sad! It is good to see you around here. I hope I have become someone better...I am definitely more drugged then when he left That is anti-depressives!!! What were you thinking hehehehheehe
I just wish I knew if and/or when he would at least turn so we can try. <sigh>
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
You could be my twin! I've been on this board since '06. I was like you, missing him and family but with my own life, strong and happy with a little grey twinge. Then out of the blue, over having to call him about financial stuff no less, came peace. No more yelling from him, just laughing and soft voices! What happened? Time? I'll tell you more when I can but I'll try to keep an eye on your sitch. I think we can share alot. I just turned 52 in March. Three kids though.
We have had a little text exchanges about insurance but basically I have let him be. Unfortunately/Fortunately he has agreed (his mother asked him) to be at a birthday dinner for me later this month. I am ok with it but it will be weird to be together after 4 1/2 years with all the family.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
I think he has to continue his journey a while, no matter how that ends.