Not sure which way to go anymore

[Mystik]

Had therapy tonight, not sure how productive it was. I just sat on her couch and cried for an hour. It's like the song by Shania Twain, "It only hurts when I'm breathing, my heart only breaks when it's beating, my dreams only die when I'm dreaming". I am still waiting for someone to come wake me from this horrid nightmare.

H called me this morning, I let it go to voicemail. He left a message asking me to call him about this weekend, and his voice sounded like he was hurting. So instead I texted him that I thought he switched weekends, and he said he couldn't do that it was Mother's Day so could he see DS during the week instead, tonight and Friday? I agreed to let him take DS tonight, and said I will let him know about Friday though right now I'm leaning towards no. He then e-mailed me asking if DS had talked much about the circus and how he bought the tickets not realizing it was Mother's Day. I very simply replied, "He has not mentioned it at all", H didn't respond. So I'm not sure if he's still going to take DS to the circus or not, though selfishly I am hoping not.