Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

GM, not harsh at all. You're absolutely correct. I was depressed for two years and couldn't get myself straightened out. She said those exact words to me that, "I had two years to find a job and did nothing." Tough to hear my W say that but she was right.

I've reminded myself that what I'm now feeling might just be a small sampling of what my W felt for the past two years. No wonder why she felt like she needed a change and had to move on. I'm sure she felt like I wasn't going to do what I needed to do. I had given her a lot of promises to get a job and do this and do that but never did. At least I now know why or at least I now know that my depression didn't help matters.

I get upset and sad with myself when I think about how this must be what I put my W through for two years. Now I'm getting to feel the pain of it all. I now understand her frustration that she felt like she couldn't get me to change or work on things. Now that's exactly how I feel. Oh yes, I most certainly get it now. I just hope it's not too late.

After she left I was upset because I thought she didn't support me when I needed her. What a stupid thought by me. She supported me for two years. She tried. She went out and worked everyday and financially supported us. She tried to get me to see a doctor to see if I was suffering from depression. She tried to get me to go to MC with her (once) about a year ago because I'm sure she was frustrated and felt like she was getting no where with me. Yes, I know exactly how she must have felt. It sucks to know that I made her feel this way. It rips at my heart to know that I made the most important person in my life feel this way when all I ever wanted to do was make her feel like she was on top of the world. I can see why she would need time to regain her trust in me if she ever does.