MLC or not?

[25yearsmlc]

I suspect, though I am not sure, that your c wants you to stop thinking about your h and perhaps do something diff for a change. She does want to help you for yourself but YOU want HER to help you save the M. There's a disconnect somewhere in that story...

As for your d, show up for her fully please. Do you wonder why SHE obsesses about why her dad doesn't call her, or what he's doing? My d13 would not do that if her dad didn't call her. She'd assume he was busy or not smart enough to know what a cool kid she is and he'd be a loser to miss out on all this. Do you Wonder who your d learned that needy behavior from? Doesn't it bother you to know you taught her this? You must change and let HER see that. Forget your h for now. Let your D see the changes so she knows that wounds like this are not fatal or eternal. YOU MUST TEACH HER THIS. Otherwise she's programmed to "be depressed" like both her parents...

Please, listen to the song "Because of You" by kelly Clarkson to see how your d may feel in 10 years. I do tire of your excuses, no offense. If you don't think you're life is worth or deserving of better than this, then for God's sake, do it for your d. LIVE A LIFE WORTH LIVING, and stop thinking about your H OR YOUR M...

Yes you can detach and GAL and not give up on the M but making it about saving the m is NOT detaching AND IT IS NOT GAL...can't you see that by now? That's why I don't get your anger at the C. I suspect you wanted a magic answer from her too....hence the focus on YOUR H's condition, MLC and whether there's an OW, and for her to show you "how to save the M" etc. No one, NO ONE can "save your M" b/c we don't know if it's salvagable. We don't know! It might be, someday. IT's not right now. You are not in a position to make it work anyhow. You are not well enough anyway! I mean, The level of focus you have on him at this point in time, frightens me. You're not bringing anything to the table as a partner, so why would he go back to you if things are going to be like this anyhow? What's better now, than before? Why reconcile, from HIS standpoint? Are you guys having fun times he misses out on or are you morose and needy and do you guilt him when you meet up? You think that's an attracting tool? FYI-it's not. But please, Your daughter...please think of her A LOT more. Detach and GAL and a PMA NOW...and leave the M in God's hands. This really is not complicated. If you must speak to your h about your d or money issues, do so calmly and do not engage in angry discourse. The calmer you are, the stronger you'll appear, as it's a control thing. The one yelling is the one losing. But don't contact him if you don't HAVE to and IF and when you do, keep in on the topic at hand such as the financial aspects or the d. NOTHING ELSE and absolutely stop threatening and stop apologizing. No R talk of any kind for the near future.
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