Only you will know how bold you can be in your questioning and what you really want to find out.
Questions I have asked...
"W, how has our separation helped you?"
"W, in what ways do you still feel anger toward me?"
"W, in what ways do you feel less angry toward me?"
These questions were not necessarily all in the same conversation, but I have received answers to all of them.
Most of the time, for a WAW, the anger has turned to resentment (thus they have walked away from their M), so she may spend quite a bit of time on the ways she still feels anger toward you. Listen attentively, don't get defensive, and don't worry. After you leave, consider if that's a change you can start making, or perhaps you aren't ready to make.
In my case, there have been about 3 or 4 conversations over about a month span that helped get us where we are now. I should point out that in our most productive conversations, my W called me and said we need to get together and talk.
