Gatsby, i think its great that you are recongnizing what you could work on. I think its a huge step! now that you know about it, work on it for you and become the best you ever!!! I know that I am taking this time to learn to not use mean words when I argue or to talk over H, and let him communicate more. We all are learning alot from our experiences
Piecing has to be so hard... but who said M was a piece of cake... or separation for that matter! That;s why if you work on you now, you will be strong enough to piece your M together confidently! We all have to take this opportunity to work on ourselves...
Dont think back on the issues that couldve been prevented, i know it can eat you up inside, I try my hardest to dismiss those thoughts! And NO, they are not reasons why you two are apart. And not reasons why you cant ever be together! He did fall in love with you once...
Dont think back on the issues that couldve been prevented, i know it can eat you up inside, I try my hardest to dismiss those thoughts! And NO, they are not reasons why you two are apart. And not reasons why you cant ever be together! He did fall in love with you once...
I totally agree--it will hit you one day (if it hasn't already) that the reason why your H is doing this is because of something wrong in your H's thinking, NOT YOU! Yes, you may have had your faults but didn't HE also? He knows that deep down! Everyone has their faults! We do search for an explanation, shouldawouldacoulda...and it doesn't hurt to do some self improvement but they did this because of their own issues. Honestly.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hey just popped over a bit to say that I can't post on P's thread! It doesn't have a reply box at the bottom or the reply/quote/etc options on the lower right corner.
Maybe it's just a small glitch, but I wanted to say that!
To keep the record, what I was going to ask P was what does acting divorced mean to her?
hey, here I am! Yeah, don't know what is happening to my thread, other than to say that I downloaded Skype today and when I posted on one of our threads (can't remember which) my Skype dial up number was featured in the subject header!!!! So I asked the moderators to remove it from the header... so maybe they are working on the problem...I hope it comes good & they haven't locked my thread. Have since deleted the Skype program.
Acting divorced - well, I think it means viewing H as not mine, no expectations, just the father of the child, not someone responsible for meeting my emotional and physical and psychological needs.
looks like they locked Piano's thread! Time to start a new one!
wow you summed up "being divorced" pretty well- I realize it was a personal definition but it sounds like it fits for anyone.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Yeah, makes sense, your def. Since you guys had some "friendly" conversations this week, does it include that? Just wondering.
To respond to NM and BD, yeah he definitely has issues and I definitely hold him responsible for his part of our problems! I just worry that they're too big to overcome. But we'll see. We're not even at the stage of overcoming yet, so it may never materialize.
me, 30 WH, 29 D born June 2010 M: July 2001 Bomb/S: 1/14/10 Done with it all.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
So WH sent an email letting me know that he will send the contract once the car payments for the car I'm using stop being paid from his account! (He said it nicely.) So he's been paying for my car payments for the past two (three?) months. Oops!
I quickly wrote back and said that it was a mistake on the credit union's part and that I'll make sure it's coming from mine, and he can deduct it from child care payments until it's taken care of.
But that leaves two months where he paid for my car usage! I think I'm just going to leave it because it's part of his repercussions for doing this. I am paying more in rent now, so it partially covers that, too. That part is kinda funny.
But I was irritated because in the email he said "your car." This car was all his idea two summers ago! It was his obsession about which car we should get and what color (k, I said it could be silver or black) and then he was so proud of it. So it bothers me a bit that he calls it my car and not "our car" because even though he's not using it now, he picked it out! I'll pay for it fully because I'm the only one using it, but. . . yeah, it bothered me a bit.
Let me know if you think I should pay him back.
me, 30 WH, 29 D born June 2010 M: July 2001 Bomb/S: 1/14/10 Done with it all.
Newmama.