expecting and/or waiting for a thunderbolt to hit him in 3-5 years from whence this started and hoping he will be standing at your front door with a bouquet of flowers saying, "Honey, I'm home. I made a huge mistake".
lol, now that would be wonderful!
thanks you all for keeping me in your thoughts and checking in on me. i'm here and have been keeping up with your posts as they come...re-reading them several times. last week has been a whirlwind (well every week for the last year has!). went from being depressed to a lot of R talk (i really didn't want to but we were stuck in a car together for 4 hours! and he kept wanting to hear how i feel)...to a couples vacation where i seriously just wanted to die (none of the other couples know our sitch)...to some change in H where he's back to being super nice and tender again (he'd been withdrawing for the last few weeks after telling his family).
i'm not holding my breath anymore but seriously, i mean SERIOUSLY, why doesn't he just get it? even through all this, we're getting along well, there is "connectivity", so much hope for a really wonderful renewed rel'p.
i've been having all these thoughts/doubts of if it's an MLC or not b/c some stuff is so classic and then other stuff isn't. i mean who knows, maybe he really is just a WAS who was really hurt in our rel'p and just disconnected. maybe he's just so depressed he can't see beyond his depression. maybe i can say maybe, maybe, maybe until i just go nuts!
ultimately i need to focus on myself and stop thinking of him but i really feel like something so good is being thrown away. i can imagine you all shaking your head at me right now...like "she just doesn't get it, does she?" and the truth is, i don't! i have been praying a lot on this and i want to accept what is ultimately best for me (but clearly i'm in denial).
so "trying" to detach but it's not there emotionally. physically though, i am spending time with friends, doing some things for me, and planned an extended trip to europe this summer post D.
