I'm seeking ideas/anecdotal experiences with ways other folks have dealt with this situation.
You handle it by ignoring it. Focus on what you can control. Gucci is right the friends aren't the problem so don't even bother with them. It's very feminine to get emotional about what other people say, it's very masculine to be about your business. Be a leader, be confident, be decisive and stay focused. This is attractive to women.
I'll be honest, I have a very hard time buying that. I'm well aware of the effect friends can have on peoples views in myriad situations, so it simply doesn't make sense that this is some sort of 'Island topic' where her friends views have no will have no effect on the outcome, so it's best to just ignore it.
Heck, I know from raising kids that there are things we can do to mitigate damage of "advice by their piers" and I've seen what happens when parents "ignore" this influence simply because there isn't anything they can do to control what their kids friends tell them. I simply have a tough time buying the assertion that ignoring it is the best course of action. Of course I'm also aware there isn't much I can do to stop it from happening. I've also never ever, ever, in any situation in life, found a problem situation where "ignoring it" wa s the best course of action.
And yes, I'm also aware that this "friends advice" issue is only a small part of the overall problem of my wife wanting out. But again, in my last marriage ending, it actually played a pretty significant part, I have the benefit of hindsight on that note. Been there . . . "ignored it" because I didn't really even know it was happening until after the fact for the most part, and it DID play an indisputable part in my marriage ending.
As for the "Masculine/Feminine" thing, I'm quite comfortable with my masculinity, and I'm not being particularly emotional about it . . .at all really, in front of her. I'm in a 'holding pattern' until I figure out what the heck is really going on.
I appreciate your opinion, coach and a few others, but I'm gonna need more of the "how and why" simply ignoring it is supposed to be the best thing I can do.
To be honest, it almost seems like everyone thinks I should just blindly do what I'm told on this issue . . .which I have no problem with, as long as it's backed with sound reasoning.
Ironically, "blindly following advice" has gotten a lot of people into trouble, and is actually quite what I'm worried about in this topic: My Wife blindly following 'sage advice.'
Work with me here, please. I'm not trying to be stubborn . . .even though I suppose that's exactly what I'm being. For that I do apologize.
Life may be short, but . . . well . . . it actually IS short, now that I think about it . . . . particularly when compared to planetary formation and stuff.
