blah blah blah blah. I'm tired of hearing myself like this. lol It is driving me nuts. .... Sorry again just venting.
Better to vent here that at someone! I know what you mean - when I got M I was feeling differently and much fewer life problems. But, then i remind myself that I was still a "child" then - now I have kids.
My W has done a number on me, but I have to her, too. Do you think it is fair to say that in the first few years of M you also effected your W in some hard ways? Of course, an affair changes everything for you. It must be a hard time, but when you were in the military you (I presume) were taught about hard times. Consider this the most emotional but important challenge you have. Choose a direction and keep working at it.
OTMT
Yes I'm sure me leaving overseas affected her in a hard way. Not knowing if I was going to come home. Or even being home and just training, wondering if I was going to die in an accident. This is a challenge but how do I stop from just giving up on myself? I am being hard on myself I know but right now I am just so fed up with the emotions that I have that I want to give up. I want to run away and unfortunately I want to run from everything Everything. Never have I been destroyed like this before. I know that I need to be broken down to be rebuilt, that I need to work on myself in order to become the man that I need to be but shhit I feel as though I am taking on more than I can handle.
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
