help with a plan

[pigskin]

As always, coach is right on about this. Remember your wife is lying to you, probably about everything. She'll probably do something nice for you to throw you off, then go right out and do something that is completely irresponsible and immoral for a married woman to do.

As coach said, transparency is not an issue when there is no issue, so if she balks at this, you'll know she's hiding what is going on.

Phrase everything in a manner that explains what you, as a husband and good father cannot accept in his home because it goes against what any good husband and father would accept.

So don't say "You can't do 'this'", say "As a husband and father these types of actions are unacceptable in a marriage and good family home, and I won't tolerate them." Then come up with a plan for handling any violations of these boundaries. This can be difficult sometimes, so asking others on the board how they handle them can be of help.

I can see difficulty in an in home separation with your wife acting as she is. She'll likely use it to cake eat. Where she goes is her problem. Perhaps if she agrees to transparency, then in home can be accepted. If not, then she has to go.

Your wife has a job and income, and so do you, so perhaps that makes it easier to separate the finances. That's a tough step since it seems so divorce-like, but it is some cold hard reality in the WAW's face. If she has to go find some crappy shack apartment, then so be it.