So Ali, this is what I'm struggling with. My H is verbally abusive IMO, and in this way getting angry at least internally is good for me. He bullies me and I let him push me around and mistreat me. So isn't standing up to him and saying stop healthy?
On the other hand, DB says to stay dark and no R talks. I know this. But also I have tried this over months and have felt that all it has done is allowed him to think I'm perfectly happy with D, with his explosions, with his blame. Avoidance is a big trait with him and my being quiet also keeps him hiding in his hole. I don't know what to do.
Part of me thinks if I want someone to treat me nicely and with respect, I need to do the same and that means letting him go if he wants and not ever reacting in hurt or anger myself. The other part of me thinks he has mistreated me for so long I need to show anger and stand up for myself instead of withering and crying when he berates me.
