Hmm...first, don't beat yourself up too much about "responding the wrong way" about the A when you first found out. 1) I think it is rare for someone to be "prepared" and handle the A in a rational way! Seriously- did you ever research what to do in case your H was cheating? I never ever thought it would happen and certainly didn't! 2) you were pregnant. Psychologically, even women in happy marriages have fear of abandonment when they are pregnant. It is an instinct.
You know is it so bad that initially the reason your H is going to FT might be for those other reasons? It's the whole external locus thing....it starts off being for other people but once he gets in there, he will be looking at himself and it will turn to internal locus of motivation.
Last, obviously your H wants to reconcile so your previous actions that you are beating yourself up about don't really matter at this point....know what I mean?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
