Hope you are having a beautiful day Ferg! No wardrobe malfunctions today but glad I got you sidetracked yesterday...that is one of my strong suits... wink
Yeah. Yesterday was bit of a rough day. None of my work was successful and to top it off, I was supremely PO'd at the stbxW. I have had it with her shirking her responsibilities and just walking away with a fresh start while sticking me with handling everything she left behind (which is just her speed). So I contacted her and basically said, what do you need from me to get this D ball rolling.
But coming here is a nice distraction.
Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
Interesting you have so many plaids. I thought maybe just one family plaid? Didn't think of it as a 'work uniform'...but I can see that now.
The MacKenzie is my family tartan. Two are current and previous band kilts and one I picked up just because I liked it. I don't especially like wearing a kilt. It usually means I'm performing somewhere. Some guys wear those Utilikilts daily.. blech.. I'd rather wear jeans or khaki shorts.
Originally Posted By: mindfull
Hey! I resemble that remark!!! Sure beats the bi*chy wife routine!
Disgustingly sappy? Yes. Bi*chy? No. Pushy, bossy, only-child-mentality? Definitely, but not at me.
My stbxW isn't bi*chy at all. Our D negotiations so far are the most polite, congenial, business-like, ever... I hope I see a little bit of bi*ch before this is over, for my own satisfaction.
I was supremely PO'd at the stbxW. I have had it with her shirking her responsibilities and just walking away with a fresh start while sticking me with handling everything she left behind (which is just her speed). So I contacted her and basically said, what do you need from me to get this D ball rolling.
Fergie -
I thought about this a lot overnight (so much so, I guess, that it woke me up @ 5am!) I've re-written this four times, trying to get the right point.
You may feel she has a fresh start. But, for the sake of being human, I'd like to think she carried around a fair amount of guilt for her actions. But, if not...
You may have been walked-away from, and, possibly even cheated on... BUT, (this may sound so cliche, but since I know you in person, I can honestly tell you this):
Can you not walk down your path of life... ... w/respect for the effort you exerted to make it work? ... w/respect for the commitment you had for the institution of marriage? ... w/respect for your valuing of her heart (separate from yours/hers together)? AND... ... w/ a genuine, clean, pure knowledge of your self-worth?
You now hold close to your heart a true gift, my friend. I wouldn't wish this kind of abandonment on you, but since you've experience it, imagine what you can truly give yourself, and someone else someday.
/no schmoopiness allowed on this post - all about you //your voice made me sad - but this phase is necessary for healing - I'll hear it anytime I need to.
Last edited by mindfull; 05/06/1010:26 AM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
What Mind said. I remind myself of those things when I get down...no matter what XH says, I KNOW that I tried my very best. I know I was willing to do the real, hard work. And I know that even if the problems pre-bomb/abandonment were created by both of us, the decision to just give up and leave was his 100%. I am sure most of that is the same for you.
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