Long story short, she wants to seperate. I said I agreed. She said maybe we would realize what we had and miss it or realize we would be happier apart. Again, I agreed. I told her again that she is the one who wants this, won't try getting help of any kind so she needs to be the one to leave, I will not leave my kids. She says she doesn't expect me to, I am the best father she could ever imagine, on and on.
This is good.
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So, I asked her again, "What do you want to do?"
This not so good. This is a opportunity to lead. Why is your wife seeking out a EA? That guy isn't asking her what she wants to do he is just doing it.
Have you really laid out a boundary with the EA? Is there no contact in place?
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"So, what are we going to do?"
She's looking to you to be a man - leader, confident, decisive and in control.
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She started in on how I don't trust her and other crap and I got up and went outside.
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You shouldn't trust her right now and she knows it. She's testing you and you failed.
Think thru this:
- no contact/transparency plan
- reconciliation plan (MC, communication issues, trust, becoming friends again and then becoming romantically involved)
- marriage issues: what are they and how will they be handled?
List the issues and find solutions. Don't be afraid - lead.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
