I understood my W's feelings and affirmed them. In other words, I agreed with HOW she felt. Then I shut up.
I did NOT tell her she was RIGHT, and I did NOT recommend any ACTION.
So the sample quotes you used above, I did NOT use.
My quotes were more like this.
"W, with what you are saying, I understand why you are upset"
I did NOT recommend actions like divorce, even though I understand the object of this is pure psychology. My W would see right through that and it's not the TRUTH.
What would make me follow your advice is if an A was involved. If an A is involved, I agree with telling them you won't share them and forcing them to end it completely or move out. "I won't share you with OM" I also realize it seems like most on this message board have an A involved.
