Not Sure Where I Am

[RedHeadWife]

It really is hard to trust him. I think BECAUSE of all the A's that is why I am so self-conscious and never think I'm good enough.

The thing about the A's that hurts the most is, when we got married I was supposed to now be special to him. I was supposed to be the one he chose to spend the rest of his life with and no one else & then he went & shared himself w/ someone else after he promised to cherish ME.

Last night was fine. We seemed to somewhat connect a little. I told him that I just didn't feel close to him anymore - that we need more alone time. I told him we don't even ever have any time to just sit down & talk & connect & I just don't feel as if we have been keeping our personal relationship going. It's like we have the kids & take care of all of that & that's it.

I told him that I don't want the boys to grow up & move out & for us not to have anything left after that.

Anyway, I feel kind of at peace with things right now. I'm just going to continue to try to do things that brings he & I back together. I'm going to make sure that, even if I'm exhausted, that I make sure we have some alone time after the boys go to bed. On the weekends, watch a movie together after they go to bed. Things like that.