and the trying to get rid of OW business actually speeded up because he got really scared he would lose ME.
Wait and watch, you WILL know if OW goes south or not.
HB
I've been trying understand this. If we do this with this outcome in mind aren't we attaching expectation to our boundary? The way I see it what you're saying IS necessary if we haven't reached the stage of loving detachment. Where one realizes that they have no control over the process, or timing of it so they can just be the stronger spouse standing in the face of any and all attempts or temptations to be brought back into the maelstrom of the MLC.
IOW the boundary of NC is neccesary during our journey to loving detachment. Am I looking at this the right way? In my sitch I don't have contact with W unless she reaches out. If she does I am friendly and just try to listen. I don't know if A is still on. I don't ask. Does it matter? She is on her timeframe. If I forced a boundary for the purpose of busting A does that really accomplish anything in her time and in her MLC? Or would her having to experience life with out Truegritter push her through the tunnel?
There's the rub...
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
