Dude this sh*t does really suck but YOU need to take a step back and realize that YOU are not the problem. You need to stop letting this stuff get to you. I know it is hard - I do but really you need to distance yourself from this garbage. Remember YOU are in control of your reaction to things. So here is my advice...instead of focusing on the anger and fustration..ask yourself what can you learn from this. One thought I have is that you should now know how to deal with these type of text messages, which is ignore them and delete them. Take back your POWER dude - take back the control over YOUR emotions. She does not control you man - you control you - cause you are a fu*king ex ranger - you are the f*cking MAN! Now take back your POWER. This rollercoaster will be over when YOU say it is over.
Go enjoy your kids and let her reap the results of her actions.
God Bless, Eric
oh...you know how to reach me when you feel this way buddy. Anytime...day or night...I'm here.
Hey Eric, my main problem is I sorta want justice right now. I want her to be reaping and feeling the affects of what she has done RIGHT NOW!. Lol it is lame. But it is how I feel. I know God works on his own time and I am starting to realize that my W whoever she has become isn't that great of a person. I honestly think that she is biding time for the divorce till she can move in with now OM2 or is just waiting till her lease is up at her friends apartment(yeah she signed a lease to sleep on a couch.) I'm trying to not let what she does affect me and in a perfect world I would be ignoring her completely. NC is working with becoming un-attached. She is the one that contacts me and I usually keep it short when she does so. When the whole text message thing went down, I told her about it, it really did piss me off. I told her that if she ever calls me from someone elses phone to delete my number. She said that what OM did wasn't like him that he is a nice guy, I pretty much scoffed. I told her that she doesn't know him and that I shouldn't have to deal with someone texting me and treating me like I'm a messanger boy. I've let it go. From now on I'm not going to get sucked into it. I'm just going to delete or not answer calls from people I do not know. It just sucks that I'm now in this world where I'm going to have to deal with someone that probably thinks they have the right to do whatever they want because they are involved in my kids lives and my WAS's life. I'm driving the effe on. I am not going to let this bring me down any more. I know that I can control what I do and I'm going to do that. I just have to become more cognizant of my emotions. Protecting my children is the most important thing, I will be careful who I introduce them to and make sure that whoever does come into their lives they will not hurt by them.
All in all, the feeling of loneliness isn't going away. Even being around family and friends, loneliness is the one thing that I cannot shake. I know my friends can see it on my face and it sucks. I'm trying to let it go or move on from this feeling but that is the one that I am having a hard time with. I really miss getting to be affectionate with another person. Just to the point of getting to walk with them and hold their hand. Anger, sadness, grief not really feeling these. Anger does come but I usually get rid of it quickly or if I cannot I go out and beat the [censored] out of my heavy bag. I don't want to interalize anger, I do not want to become bitter about this and I certianly dont want to be damaged to the point where I can no longer trust or develope abandonment issues.
Sorry this is long winded but it has been a while since I really said anything about how I am feeling, I haven't ranted and it felt good to do so. You guys are a lot of help, I just wish I knew where I was going in this sitch. I don't really see any hope of reconciliation, but that might be because I don't want it.
Aces...
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
