Can you see the Morning After

[holdingon]

Pam,
You have such a great many people that post to you all the time, so, don't know how meaningful my post will be... but, here goes anyway.

You need to get some outside interests beyond this bb and the people on it. Yes, it is an awesome place, great advice, wonderful people caring about you. But, it can also be very depressing, and I find myself on it TOO much. When I am on it too much I get nothing tangible done. I know you spend a lot of time on it at work, so that might not apply to you. But after being on the bb for an hour or so, I find myself beating me up for not accomplishing things that STILL need to be done around the house. I feel much better when a room is clean, or the bed is made, or the dog poop in the yard is picked up, or I walk on my treadmill or lift weights. Practically ANYTHING makes me feel better in the long run.

Being on the bb makes me FOCUS on my sitch... never a good thing. When I do that, worry happens, fear happens, imagination happens. All not good things.

Also, the busier I am outside the house, doing something for someone else, even shopping, the better I feel. Even if they are time wasting things, which I did a lot of in the beginning.

Use this time to think about you. What do you like to do? What do you want to do? Anything that does not involve David or thinking about your sitch. Maybe the house is overwhelming to you because it focuses your atteniton on your home with David. This was a problem for me in the beginning. I tried then to spend as much time away from here as I could. But now I am better and can focus on stuff when I am here without things making me sad or crazy.

Some outside things to do, just in case you are wondering what the heck I am talking about:
1.Do a Bible study. These (I go Wed, and Monday and Sunday school) have helped A LOT since I know I am not alone, I meet people and my hole is filling with faith!
2. If you want to reread DR, how about going to your local bookstore, buying yourself a beverage and reading it there? Or the library?
3. Go shopping. Try on new, different clothes that you would not ordinarily try on.
4. Volunteer. Maybe you can foster puppies at your local shelter, or shop for them or whatever.

For right now, fill up your calendar, and therefore, fill up your brain. Is this easy?? NO. Is it worth it? Yes.

And as far as decorating for the holidays... definitely.