H just felt the need for us to have a "talk". I should have known it was coming from all I have read here in similar sitches. He now claims that he likely never was in L with me. Yep, he's decided to rewrite history! I just sat there and calmly listened. He was very uneasy that I was not falling apart and kept saying he wasn't sure I really was hearing him. So I reframed what he said and made it clear that I knew exactly what he was trying to tell me (mostly so he wouldn't make me hear it again!!!). He wanted a response after all of that, so I just told him that it didn't really matter how we got "here" or how long we have been "here", the only question is what are we going to do about it. This is where we're at right now, this is what we have to deal with and I don't care to sit up all night and try to talk about the past. He actually seemed relieved at that.
He also brought up my birthday and said he owed me a night out since he missed my birthday being out of town. He asked what I wanted to do. I told him that if he felt that he wanted to do something for my birthday then I would be happy to enjoy it, but that I would rather have nothing than something he felt compelled to do out of guilt or ceremony. I also told him that I had already planned my own birthday with the boys (which he gets all the credit for!! - I didn't mention that part to him) and I didn't want to have to plan my own evening with him. If it is a gift from him, then he should do the planning. We'll see what happens.
Quote:
So.. progress?
I would have said, yes...progress!, until this very depressing chat with H. I feel that I will give myself a pat on the back for some progress. But, detachment to where this didn't REALLY hurt, nope, not there.
Quote:
Had some fun.. H tagged along.. Blah.
Had some fun without H. He was out of town. Not blah, my kids were amazing to me! They don't even call me the (old) Queen when they are playing castles and knights, I am their PRINCESS! They rock!
Quote:
You strike me as someone who.. has the means. Not once have you mentioned money in all this. There are tons of options for "internet ready" devices. Netbooks, Ipads.
This part made me laugh out loud. Not that you could know, but we have very little $. H is in graduate school and went down to part-time in his IT job and we are both very against living outside our means. We are very frugal and budget very carefully. This is something that we both agree about and have NEVER fought about $. We've been on the same page since day 1. We don't prohibit each other from buying anything, no permission needed or anything like that. We're just both very reserved about spending. H balances the checkbook and I pay the bills, there are no secrets, we're both online in the account several times a month checking on things. If there is an OW, he's not spending any of our $ on her! Every $1 is accounted for. I also don't have a high paying job, I chose a career to help people in crisis, I am not in it for the meager pay check. We have always laughed that no one has any idea how little we live on, funny that you got that impression too.
