"My suggestion is to agree, agree, agree. Tell her that if you were her you would be saying the same thing. Tell her that you are a douche and a liar. Tell her she is justified."
This is the worse thing you can do. You need to just validate what she said. Validating is not the same as agreeing.
Let's face it. You're not a total douche. YOu made mistakes like the rest of us. But so did she.
So you validate by saying "I see why you would feel that way." and "I understand you want a D and I respect that. It is your decision." And that's it. There's no sense in re-hashing the arguments. You just acknowledge what happened and move on.
By agree, I guess that is what I meant. To show understanding of why they feel the way they do. I know that until I did that my H would not even entertain a convo with me. And no of course he is not a total douche....but his wife thinks he is... And he is the one who wants to save the marriage.....not her. So I think it is in his best interst to validate that feeling as well. But alas....my M sucks...and I do not have a Phd in pshychology....not that I think that would help my sitch even if I did! :lol:
