I can see what you are both saying. I absolutely want this to work!! One realization that I had: The price of me not sharing 100% of myself with her, is to not be able to share any of myself with her. I don't want that ever again, no more lies! When I have drank, I have told her. She has actually been checking up on me here and there.
The first weekend on my own, I went out drinking Fri & Sat night, but did not over-consume, did not get drunk, and limited myself to 2 drinks max over several hours (no not long islands). She was upset by this (which at first made me mad, then I gave it more thought and understood), she said that now that she's not around, I'm just falling back on what I'm comfortable with.... yep for the most part. So this last weekend I made a point to go visit some friends and see their newborn on Friday, declined all invites to go out that night too. Then Saturday, just had some friends over. But alas, did I drink? Yes, Friday = 1/2 of a PBR over 3hrs, Saturday = 1 beer. So while drinking is still there, I am not getting intoxicated. I guess I just need to forgo the drinking alltogether. Mainly, I need to innovate and find new activities, that are healthy and beneficial. I am going to start going to the gym, once my strenghth is back up. As I said, I was majorly depressed, I lost 30lbs in 3 weeks.
As far as validation. Yes!! That is a brilliant suggestion!! I do agree with her, I do feel like a d-bag!! Before I would always say, "I lied, and I'm very sorry but... I'm doing better...blah blah blah" I just need to learn when to shut my mouth and stop trying to convince her with words, validate, and as I_miss_him says "Dig deep and commit"!!
