Hello I_miss_him! Yes actually! I was looking at their site last weekend, how funny you would mention that! And yes on religious terms. Her relationship with my son has been rocky, they do tend to butt heads. To be fair, she came into his life when he was getting the teen attitude, she wasn't around for the cute years. They have a bond of sorts, he does like her, but she was around him more than me mainly because she works at a school that he attended for a few years, and she was always home before me. I backed her up but a lot of the time she had the unfortunate priviledge of enforcing discipline first, then I would show up and support her. And she didn't always feel that I disciplined him well.
She is a believer as well, very involved in the church. Here is what happened: while our M was getting tough, she sought the council of our pastor, the one who married us. He is also a close personal friend of hers, she babysat his kids when they were very young. While she was going to see him, she recommended that I go as well... I never did. After she found the cigarettes she went to him and told him she was done. Of course I wasn't there for the discussion but (per the W) he told her she had 3 options. 1. Clean break AKA divorce 2. 3 month S while she decides 3. Stay and work it out
Now my thought was this (and I told her), why is the pastor that married us including divorce as an option?! It's a Baptist church. She contested that it wasn't until now that he mentioned it. And while I never approached him, he never approached me either. I'm not really sure what to think of all that but I have considered discussing retrouvaille with her. My main reason for not doing so, is because she refuses to work on anything with me. She says that I have run out of chances, I'm lucky to have gotten as many as I did, and this is simply a last ditch effort to see if there is any hope. Which as of last Sunday, she just wants to divorce. But then says, you can have the 3 months if you still think there is hope. ALSO: I was supposed to move out approx 3/22/10 but didn't, due to lack of money, and I kept telling her "I will need $$ to move out we have to cut our spending". AND my son was going through tough times (smoked weed, stole from us, was cutting himself). My impression was that it would be 3 months from when I moved (4/17) but now she's saying the separation should have started 3/22 so it's 3 months from there. Which.... can I call that unfair?
Her bottom line was this (quote from email): I will go over how I feel again, just to make sure that you have a clear understanding. I am done. I don't think that I can ever trust you again after you betrayed me in so many ways. I will reevaluate the situation after 3ish months and see if my feelings have changed at all before I file papers.
That was on Tuesday, then Sunday she moves the date and said she just wants the D. Sorry, brevity isn't my thing
