I understand how i should never expect forgiveness, that it is something that i need for me and myabe i am still being selfish in that respoect. I am still with OM so how can i expect him to forgive me. i get that.
I hate to say, but I did get a vibe of selfishness when I read your first posts. If you really want to give your XH something he'd value, leave him alone. Maybe someday he'll express forgiveness to you, but as long as you're with OM, he'll see any expression of remorse from you as hollow.
I have reflected on so much over the last couple years. I know good people can get caught up in something they never intended, and I may myself be soon faced with a decision as to whether to offer my W forgiveness, but have you ever wondered if staying with OM is what is cursing you with this guilt?
