I believe your H is blaming you because he is still having an A with the co worker.

Short term goal- self improvements, keep up LRT, don't believe things he says to you.Look good, show independence with your actions.

Can you snoop to see if he is still having an A?

me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004