booked in for another DB coach session this week. will see how that goes. very keen to hear what coach has to say about H's parenting session with her a few weeks back, and steps forward given the last few weeks.

Interesting couple of days:

2 phone calls since 5 hour talk fest with H on the weekend.

very calm, I would say friendly.

H seems to realise he needs to change, and give more, that I/we are all sick of this being unilateral & only about him. Told him to put himself to the side as a baby is about to be born. Seems to be sinking in.

** mental note: having just read Babydoll's thread, I need to keep in mind that Ghandi quote of not pushing change, but leading by example, and keep putting that at the centre of my actions/reactions.

We talked names in a friendly easy going manner.

We talked about his presence around the time of birth. He would like to be called and wait in the waiting room and not come in to the delivery suite, but he will follow my lead and do what I want and if i don't call him until she is born that is ok. He very shyly asked who would make the phone call to him. I said I would (if capable) or my mother.

I asked him if he would at all have like to be in the birth room and he said "no". Why? Too intimate & he doesn't want to be in an intimate space with me, plus he thinks it would be bad for me if I am trying to feel secure and safe.

I think it would be darn unsexy to see me give birth, if he has already stopped viewing me as his "hot lady", lol! What do you reckon?

We didn't talk R. But I said I needed my friend at this juncture. Bad move? I just really mean it...I just don't want to do this next step "thinking he is the friendly neighbour who got me pregnant"... NM - should I be apllying that to the Birth alos? I'm just such a romatntic and the birth seems so emtional to me now... do I need to detach and view him just as the father of the baby, not my H who created her with love? I feel I could do that with birth classes perhaps, but not sure about the birth itself...

I said if money/work is becoming a huge struggle, then we need to pull together to make it work for him to be able to live here.
Not sure what that will entail, but we can see.

I still miss him like hell, and all I can think of doing is let the dust settle, rebuild a friendship if we are lucky and keep him in the country so that OW and his chances of continuing become slimmer and slimmer.