If your mutual female friend is advising you not to contact your W, I would follow that advice as well as the advice Gucci Loafer gave.
My point to you is that I have no hesitancy to call my W, but she contacts me as well, so our sitch's are different there.
And, remember another way that our sitch's seem different from about 75% (or more) of the others on here (and your friend's) is there is no A. If my W had OM, it would quickly change the way I interacted with her.
I believe mutual friends are typically a good source of advice.
