I think (an ASSumption) that you are really personalizing this...maybe what I offered up...maybe what D. offered up on other posts...
Sage
Uh Oh I don't have a clue what you are telling me here.
The rest I think was a 2x4 but this part I'm not sure what you are saying?
Sorry, guess I feel a bit dense tonight.
as sage has said she's off for the night I thought I'd take a stab at this one for ya Pam.
and keep in mind I am only ASSuming what sage's implication is with this statement.
what sage offered to you about communication and what worked with her h was when she stopped talking AS MUCH, her h started talking more and not instantly either (much the same as my h)
it may appear that you have personalized the statement by stating back "I don't talk as much as I used to" and feeling like you are being robbed of something or stiffled because you are not talking as much.
that said (and if I'm way off sage will be back in the am to clear it up)
about conversing I agree with sage's question to you...
do you want to TALK to david or do you want to have CONVERSATION with david.
in talking you (not implying you personally just using you as a general noun) can go on and on and on....thinking about what you want to say and just saying it...
in conversation you say what you have to say becuase you want to say it and are respectful in what the other person has to say in response and not EXPECTING any specific response or applying some ASSumed hiden meaning to their response.
I always complained that my h never talked to me...never shared things with me...wasn't until all the sh!t hit the fan and I read db/dr and came here that I realized part of the reason why he didn't talk much was because I wasn't really giving him much of an opportunity to...I wasn't listening.
now if h starts to say something I listen..I don't give too many questions or solutions I simply listen. At first ya I did feel stiffled but the more I listened to him talking the more comfortable I felt and suddenly we were conversing and I must say I like that a heck of a lot better than when I would just talk.
