Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Gucci, thanks. I've been thinking about this today. This afternoon I talked to another mutual female friend of W and me. She said NOT to contact my W. She said that my W needs to feel like I'm not there for her. She said it's ok if my W gets a little upset because I didn't call, said to let my W wonder what I'm doing. Though this was very effective. She said to let me W contact me for an update with the house or whatever. She said the same thing you just said, to be busy and not always available. It really helped me today to hear this from a woman who knows my W. She said she saw my W a week ago and my W was sad about selling the house.

I'm not going to contact her. Let her contact me. I need to get back on the path I was on with not worrying about contacting her. Other than sending the flowers, I haven't talked to her in a couple of weeks. Yes, I know the flowers was pursuit. I was so torn what to do for her birthday.

Gucci, you do give good advice and I appreciate it and listen. I realize there are two approaches, the softer approach and the firmer approach. I know the DB talks about not continuing down cheeseless tunnels. What I wonder is if what I am doing is a cheeseless tunnel or not? Is this somewhat friendlier interaction positive or just crumbs? After 6 months I wonder if we should be further along? I wonder if I need to focus more on the firmer approach and see what happens?

After listening to my some of my friends share their stories with me it really does make sense that you need to let them go to have a chance to get them back. All of them got to a point where they let go and after time everyone of their Ws came back. Some worked and some didn't but all of their Ws at least approached the H to see if they could work on the M. It helped me to hear this from my friends. I need to clean my ears and listen more to what you guys are telling me. It's been the same thing all along that my friends just told me. It was eye opening for me to hear them all tell the same story.

Thanks Gucci, I very much needed that today. I was getting weak the past few days. I plan to do exactly as you say when she calls. Be polite, keep the call short and to the point and nicely end the call.