tired of trying...

[beingreal]

Thanks Geo. Reading your response to that made me remember what it felt like to hear. I don't want to go back to that.

Today is the first time I've been really pissed at H for leaving.

Today is the first time I've called him an effing ahole. Granted, it was under my breath, in an empty room and to myself. But, by golly, I meant it.

S6 is having some issues coping. S2 has been exceedingly whiny for the past week. I know they are just little boys, but they are quickly getting on my nerves. S6 decided to do his own version of a 180 & was helping fold laundry. He got all the dish cloths and washcloths folded, but the big towels were too much for him. So instead of just leaving them for me, he took them out of the basket and flung them in the air, declaring that they were now, "giant pieces of confetti!!". *sigh*

A few weeks from now it might have been funny--but I'm not very amused right now. They have got me hopping and I'm just worn out.

At least when h was here he'd manage to do the fun stuff with them while I was busy working. Now he's not even here to do that. They want me to play & I still have a ton of work to do. It's not fair to them. It's not fair to me.

I know he would tell me I should have thought of that before I "kicked him out". But I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for someone who is just sitting at his mama's house, having a pity party and cheering himself up by taking motorcycle rides.

Poor baby. I wish I could just sit around and pout. But I have to clean up the blackberry yogurt that S2 just finger painted the counter with.

Is this normal? This just being mad part? To the point that I don't care if I ever have a real conversation with him ever again?