No one ever said it was easy, Matt. Detach, detach, detach.. it's all you can do to protect yourself sometimes.
The swirling emotions in evidence within your wife will not make sense most of the time, and you can drive yourself crazy trying to see through the haze....so you just detach some more, get on with your life, pray and pray some more...asking the Lord for the strength to see you through.
No matter what happens, it will be all right...though, it doesn't always seem that way.
I've been there, too. Have faith, the storm will pass; I just don't know when it will do that. Only God knows, and He's working on your wife as we speak.
Take care.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
