Deep, dark, ugly thoughts that I don't want

[dday101798]

LOL, I like the show, but hate how it is hand fed to all ages when it certainly is not appropriate as such.

Anyway, I thought of this on a break:

Why a dog is a man's best friend, we envy them:

If a dog violates the bondship of his master by doing wrong, say craps on the floor, he know it will be ok. His master will come in, see the wrong doing he has created, get his ass beat, and wallow off out of sight. But, it will all be ok, so long as the next morning, he brings his master the paper with a big I love you man look. (If said dog can fetch beers, the 'forgiveness process is expedited much more quickly).

Men, on the other hand, never know what to expect in the form of reaction to their wrong doing, too many variables. To further complicate things, there are equally too many variables to deteremine how to make their wrong doing up to the woman they've upset.

But, we can fetch beers

[june72]

lol!


Yes, we have to censor Family Guy with our son- he hates that! He can only watch the safe parts and then we have to change the channel.
I guess Family Guy is very popular in middle school though, according to my hubby dealing with middle school kids all day.

[june72]

On to another topic....



OMG, OMG, OMG, I truly, truly have a very, very mentally ill mother. And I am not saying this capriciously.

I have had enough!

So my mother, begged and pleaded, I mean pleaded to have her paint the exterior of my house. It does need painting but I was hopeing that in 2-3 years I would have enough money to switch to siding, when I work more regularly. Plus my hubby is willing to do some repair work painting.


So, my mother, I could go on and on about how seriously mentally ill she is. Narcasistic tendencies (she only cared about our house b/c she wanted her friend invited to my son's party and she was "embarrassed" that her friend would see the house in this condition.

I mean the stories- like the walking in on my naked sister and her huby and telling them they had to get up it's morning and then looking in her condom draw and telling her they needed more. Her hubby was like... "What the F&ck?". I have a million stories. Everyone better than a Dr. Phil show. Amazing stories of her truly off the wall nutty behavior!


I had cut my mother to occasional visits and that was it. I knew that her mental illness was too much to deal with. But once I had kids, my health was bad, very bad for two years (misdiagnosis, over and over, yeah!) So I begged for her help, since I was having issues with even holding my newborn and walking, heart trouble was making me too dizzy. A-hole, doctors, another story for another day. Plus I was having a hard time with my younger son being so very very sick constantly (this month we are trying Amox 3x day for a month to see if it helps since he was sick 2 out of 30 days in April) and trying to work from home with some bad deadlines.

So I allowed her back into my life....

[june72]

After several times telling my mother no, I do not want the exterior painted, even if she would pay for it. She called my hubby and lied to him. She lies ALL the time, it is a constant way of life for her. She stated I agreed to painting and the painters were hired. I found out about this and finally give in.... Look, fine, they can come and paint the front of the house and only the front since that is the only area that needs it. I am not interested in lead paint being scrapped off and getting on our kids window sills and such and my hubby agreed to seal up the outside bedroom windows since he is of the same mindset.

So I stated fine, I am caving. Let me know a date and we will prepare beforehand.


Oh, it gets so much better... Just wait...

[june72]

So, painters pull up into my driveway today.... (very trashy people I may add)


I explainly very nicely and apologetically that:
1. I had no notice and this is a very bad day
2. It's about to rain any minute
3. I explained about the extrior window sealing that needed to be done

Well the sh*t hit the fan...Hugely!!!

Darn little one crying I have to tend to him

[june72]

(this month we are trying Amox 3x day for a month to see if it helps since he was sick 2 out of 30 days in April)
That was meant to say 25 days

So, I am in my PJ's outside talking with this man and his crew since I was cleaning and just about to take a shower....

None of my reasons were valid. I could see right away I was talking to a man who expected to get what he wanted. Hence the reason he was doing his own rag tag painting business. It was his way only. At first I thought he was asking such detail about the window sealing so he could do it for us.... No, he was adament on proving me wrong and I would have to do things his way... whcih was today, without window sealing, and get this.... the entire house! I politely explained my goal of residing in 2-3 years. And then he states... "look at this, look at this the whole house needs paiting". Your mother stated that if I started the front you would agree to the whole house! What!! So my mother lied to me and him. (par for the course)

So I politely explained to him I am so sorry but my mother has lied to both you and myself. I only consented to the front of the house. Not good enough for him. He will paint this entire house and he will start to day is what he wants....
He demanded my reasoning for why I was not going to do the entire house, and why I was wrong on this.

Basically everything I stated was spewed back at me as to how wrong I was and how right he was and I needed to agree with him.

OK....

So I finally stated. (I mean debating is pointless right?, why do it) I was done being polite. "Listen, enough, I am not changing my mind when I have a plan I am very OCD about it and I will not deviate from it. You can paint the front of the house on Monday and that is it. End of discussion." (putting my foot down)

Well, painter man angry at not getting HIS way went off. I mean totally beserker. He crew was embarrassed and trying to stop him. He was perseverating on OCD. "OCD, do you know OCD, Do YOU know OCD?" Starts giving me definitions of OCD and you are not OCD, etc. All while he wife/girlfriend whatever is trying to talk him down.

And he is not going to paint just the front of the house not worth his time. Blah, blah, blah...

So I stated let me take your name and number and I will call you and figure things out since my son is waiting for me inside. Today is not an option.

So I grab a piece of paper and pencil and has for his name... "Jeff"... last name please "Corbit" so I write this down.
Him, very nasty, "you wrote my name down wrong, write it correctly"...Me, "Sure, tell it to me" (realizing I am dealing with so one who is totally nuts). So I rewrite it the corrected spelling as told to me and state with a little barb, "I'll remember it forever now."

Then, then, this man has the nasty crazy@ss balls to say really, really nasty, in a very authoritative tone.............. "now cross out the incorrect spelling."


To which I turned to him and his whole crew and stated, no, yelled it...... "Get the mother-f@ck out of my driveway now and do not ever come back again" "What the f@ck is wrong with you harrassing me....blah, blah, blah"

I know I curse on the boards here but I never curse in real life that often. Very rarely. But today I let the F-bomb's fly b/c man this man was incredible. I mean he was nasty and demanding from the get got and I was so damn polite. I mean I was saying stuff like I respect your eagerness to work and feel so bad about not being able to agree to today, etc. I was the absolute kindest person possible.


He is cursing, I am cursing, I tell him I am going to call the police if he does not leave right now. I walk in the house and lock my door and wait for them to leave and am adament I was calling the police if I don't see them moving fast enough.

So the saga does not even end there but I have to feed my son.


Next chapter... the phone call I receive from them.....oh boy!

[Lotus]

Your house has not been repainted since 1978?

[june72]

No Lotus is was repainted some time in the 90's. I believe with the previous owner...

[RedHeadWife]

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, you CAN'T just leave us hanging like that!!!!

What happens next????

[june72]

OK, RHW- haha! I was waiting for the opportunity!

So, I get a phone call. Darn, call waiting, I didn't get to check the caller ID otherwise I never would have answered.

So if was the, IDK, girlfiend/wife/assistant/who knows girl that was part of the crew apologizing about all of this and so sorry to show up announced.

I mean what a champ- the man acks like a complete ass but has girl call and apoligize and basically plead and beg for the work. It was so uncomfortable. It was ackword.


I was nice and polite and apologetic, I am so sorry but it's best if we leave the house the way it is. Etc., etc.


So then she states, well Jeff has OCD and gets very passionate about it if anyone mentions it in conversation. (The guy did flip his lid, he was beligeriently (sp?) DEMANDING that I provide him with a definition of OCD) Yeah, crazy, huh?

See stated maybe you could understand how he has that disorder and has to deal with....blah, blah, blah. Whatever.


Finally got her off the phone and spoke to my step-father. Who is really crappy and sulky and generally not the nicest person to be around. Honestly, prickish. Mean-spirited. Because I was desperate to vent and honestly cry to a person who knew my mother and her behavior.

Shocked, b/c my step-father was amazing and kind and sweet. And totally agreed that my mother is the nut job she is. And I need to set firmer boundaries. He was actually shocked by some of the things she has done in the past.


So my mother happened to me be in the area and was to stop by. So I let her know of all that happened and that this man stated that she had told him that "my daughter will agree to painting the rest of the house once you start".


She of course lied and lied and lied some more and then stated "you have a lotof time to think and be angry, don't you?"
She loves to patronize me.

Whatever do you me dear? I would never do such a thing, etc. etc.


Lies, lies, lies! That is all I ever get out of her. Lies to everyone she knows and does it will a smile and turn it on you. Way she is.


So I explained boundaries to her again, etc. And her response is "how long are you going to talk about this?"

I know this, she will acknowledge nothing and act as if you are crazy. Really it emotional abuse in my book to act like the other person is crazy. Esp. with the craziness she pulls out.


So anyhow, she states annoyed "why aren't you dressed yet?" UGG!!!

I tell her I was cleaning and about to shower when these people arrived and have not had the chance. Then she complains it's "unpleasant" to visit someones house and see someone in their PJ's still.

Then I state listen I have to feed my son now, his lunch is ready, come into the kitchen with me. (I can not leave her alone for a second b/c she "cleans" and rearranges stuff in my house all the time!!!)

So then she states, "You need to shower now and then feed your son"

To which I respond, No, the lunch is ready now and it is late for lunch anyhow.


Then in the kitchen it doesn't end.


I state- you need to respect and learn boundaries. You can not continue to do the behaviors you do. I am tired or you demanding i shower , etc, have a cleaner house, yada, yada, yada.


To which she states, "I simply ASKED you to shower." Lying again, she knows it and I know it.
I responded, no- it happened 5 minutes ago and you demanded that I shower...

It goes downhill.


I immediately realize that arguing with a person who lies all the time is pointless. A person that never, ever apologizes or admits to wrong doings is pointless.

I tell her it's time to go, she refuses several times. I am polite not nasty the whole time asking her to leave.

I mean I feel jerky doing it but I need my sanity.


So I walk her to the down and she starts cleaning my foyer. To which I ask her to stop and she does not. This is her routine. I usually have to take her hands and hold them and state stop. Like she is a child and guide her to the door. B/c she does it everytime.

IF the foyer is clean and there is nothing to do she will start to rearrange things in the foyer. I mean really, really maddening behavior.


So I finally blow a gasket and tell her, How many times do I have to tell you to stop cleaning the foyer?


When I ask you to leave you have to leave...


Oh boy, kiddos again.