Ah, I get you. Well, anger is a valid emotion to have, given what has happened in your life. Good for you for recognizing it; use it... it can bring you power! I'm really glad to hear though that you're not clinging. Way to go on that! And good for you, for stating that you're not going to do more than your fair share of the work or put up with his doodie.
Oh, and I'm so sorry to hear your concerns about mom's day. I'm glad you wrote about that and put some words to your unhappiness around it. Honestly, I think you should spend your mother's day exactly the way you want to. You don't owe anything to anyone Time; it's YOUR turn this time. Don't do anything you don't want to do, because it will make that bitter feeling worse. And it will only hurt yourself more.
Careful about those 'shoulds'. They're brutal. And sorry to hear about the nasty convo with your H. I wish you guys could go for MC. It sure sounds like you could benefit from someone 'on your side'. I think you'd mentioned it's out of your budget right now, though, right?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
