I have a gmail account and I cannot find what you are looking at. Please explain exactly where you are finding the history. As far as the ads, I checked mine and they have nothing to do with anything I've ever looked at.
I feel like I cant go on. I am so depressed. the thought of them having a baby together and us being divorced. is to much to handle. H has no conscience of how he is hurting his son. I really think the porno addiction led him to do this.I feel like I have to get out of this m to save my sanity. But d terrible too.
Please seek professional help. Your needs far exceed what we can help with here. I would not advise calling your H about this though. Just do it, very soon.
If you feel as though you need to go to the hospital go. Make arrangements for your son and do what you need to do. Calling your H will not help you, nor will it "show" him how much he's hurting you. You need to function as if he is dead and don't depend on him for anything.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I have to go to attorney today. I am really upset about having to do this. I only slept 4 hrs and I can't think straight. I called h and told him I was going to hospital and he had to pick son up from school. He asked what hospital I knwow he doesnt care really. I said it doesnt matter I call my mother. He said I swear on my mothers life there is no baby. I don't beieve anything he says. I dont think ill go to hospital because I have that appt. and Im really tired. I said to him do you want a d, but he says he doesnt. probably because of the cost and headache.Or he doesnt want to hurt my son. I have to pretend that he is dead and try to forget about him. They say death of a spouse is easier than going through this.
Rys I had a nervous breakdown after my H left. It was about 75% the situation and around 25% that I stopped taking care of myself (wasn't sleeping much, didn't eat right, lost 45 lbs. in just couple months, was constantly sick with one thing and another-- the physical/mental stuff kept snowballing until I was barely functioning) and started forgetting to take my ADs. When I got stabilized on meds again things got much better. They don't take away the pain and sadness, but they definitely take edge off.
