H has been to see the children today. He is as different again. Depression less, sparkle in his eyes and laughing. He even made 2 jokes with the kids about them and slyly looked at me and smiled.
He spent most of the time outside mending his car but also looked at mine without being asked. He also talked about our BIL and how he had to rebuild his motorbike about 20 years ago!
He fleetingly touched my hand whilst we were in the kitchen together.
He is taking out for a meal on 9th May and he was excitingly talking about it and how he would take the boys out for the afternoon beforehand.
H also parked his van on the drive. He has never done that before either as he bought it after he left.
So some more positives to be noted.
Jack. Your comment is priceless and made me laugh. Fortunately (unfortunately) he didn't choke on his dinner/supper/tea this evening lol.
Although H looks as if he is making steps along the tunnel and awakening he has gone quiet between visits.
No texts, emails or telephone calls since his visit on Wednesday. Not even to the children which is very unusual.
Should this be expected even though their are positives. I suppose they should as this is MLC. H is still living with OW but appears to be working harder and harder therefore spending longer hours at the office!
Sounds like the beginning of Withdrawal, to me, when they go deep into themselves and stop nearly all those interactions with you. On the other hand, since he's still living with the OW, it may be a bit early for that.
I hope you and your children have fun things planned for the weekend!
Should this be expected even though their are positives. I suppose they should as this is MLC. H is still living with OW but appears to be working harder and harder therefore spending longer hours at the office!
Probably doesn't mean much, but it looks like he's trying to decide for himself what he wants to do...and is struggling with the choice between OW and you.
His burying himself in his work, and his lack of communication entirely, shuts out everything while he attempts to decide for himself.
While OW is in the picture, he has NOT come out of Replay..he must ditch her in order to cross over into OW Withdrawal.
You know you cannot help him; only watch and see what happens.
Sounds like he's got quite a battle on his hands.
I hope his decision is a sound one...coming back to you.
You're coming across as very strong in your postings, LA.
Take care.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
libby, Your h is making some progress. Don't watch the pot so closely! The old saying "a watched pot never boils" is so true w/the mlcer.
As it has been pointed out, if the ow is still in the picture it's replay. He is doing some thinking and if he dumps the ow, then the real work will begin for him.
In the meantime, what have you been doing w/yourself? Try not to focus so much on him....give him the space and time he needs, not only phyiscally, but mentally and emotionally as well.
Enjoy your day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
HB. I think you are right about hiding himself in work. His non communication has become apparent since we went to a counselling session with our S who is struggling to come to tems with him leaving. I think it was hard for him to hear his youngest S telling him how he felt.
Snodderley. You are right. The last touch and go with signs of awakening caused me to drop my guard slightly. I have been working to get back to detachment again. Although this is hard I know I have to do it to protect my sanity.
I realise that LBS lose patience when they see flashes of the old H appear. My H is having more of these times but I DB when he is at home and try and give him the space he neeeds.
One of his main issues is the huge anxiety he feels when he returns home which results in physical symptoms of palpatations and panicky feelings. I am hoping the more I back off him when he is at home the more he can work through why these occur and try and deal with them.
Still no contact from H. He usually text and lets me know about the plans for his visit tomorrow.
He hasn't text children either so they are asking me what is happening. I have advised them to contact him to make the plans.
Bizzarely he has arranged for us all to go out on Sunday for a meal before taking S to a concert with him. When he was here last Wed he was very excited about it.
