My WAW - Chat/Text Msg affair with her ex

[Dan1977]

Ok, I went and seen my therapist for the first time today and it went pretty well. She was familiar with Michelle Weiner-Davis' books and she was glad I was participating in this forum. I didn't get to go through everything going on bc part of the session was taken up by me filling out confidentiality forms etc...but I went through most of the recent events and some of the major past events. I have another appointment May 12th and I'm really looking forward to it so I can go through more in depth what is going on. She said the first session was to get some background on what was going on, but she did ask questions about my childhood, her family and stuff like that. The good thing is I think she is a pro-marriage type of counselor and has many credentials and has been in the business for 20+ years. Some of her suggestions echo what I'm being told on here.

Right now things are going pretty good with my wife although she is still texting OM on the "secret" prepaid phone, it's not nearly as frequent as it was a few weeks ago. My therapist said it would be best for me just to leave that alone right now and not bring it up as that technique obviously is not working. Maybe she will come to the realization that this is just a fantasy for her and her real life is right in front of her. I expected this affair to be shut off, but maybe it will take baby steps for her to gradually move away from it and come back to reality. I don't like it, but I guess this is the challenge I'm faced with and I need to learn how to deal with it. The legal side of things also came up and my therapist said I actually have the upper hand if a custody battle were to unfortunately come into play which was somewhat of a relief although I really really don't want it to go there. I think I still need to see a lawyer, but I want to concentrate all my efforts on improving my marriage so we can put this nasty nightmare behind us and become stronger better people.

Dan