I know that this is completely for and because of the baby. H will not have a change of heart over night, and none of the activities would make me think he is starting to fall in love with me. I do like the idea that he is taking responsibility for our lives and willing to do something about it, if nothing else to support me and share a bond with the baby. Today I feel calm and truly believe i have no expectations (well maybe just a small tiny bit). But, reality is that in the event that H should ever have a revelation and change of heart, I would imagine its not something he would jump on immediately. I dont think it would happen overnight or while looking at diapers or talking about placentas! Especially not now.
I also think he has done a great job on detaching and is able to separate me and him from himself and the baby.
Now to tell my heart that it will be normal to miss him when i go home, or the next day, and so on, but i'm there now anyways.
What do I have to lose in trying to see how it works?
Now for that tiny bit of hope that i've buried deep inside, Not only will this be a time for me to gain perspective and stregnth, and train myself to think of him as the baby's father only, but wouldnt this be a great time for me to show H how wonderful I am?
I am?
