You all are being great sources of help and inspiration during this trying time.
During NC, if the WS brings up something about our marriage and her feelings, sends an e-mail, for example, should I engage and respond, or ignore and continue not talking about our relationship or her affair?
I don't want to pressure and push her away, but I don't want to miss a chance to talk about issues that might lead to healing and reconciliation.
Thanks.
INSUFFICIENT DATA.
This is why I believe in continuing intel. When such a note is TRUE OUTREACH, it should be responded to sincerely. When it's gaslighting/deflection/deceit, it should either be ignored or respond with a "I wish I could believe that right now," or some such.
When I read back on my detailed journal for when my wife was going thru her affair, and I see how much of what she says was flat-out DECEPTION, and think about if I had responded to it as if it were TRUTH??? . . .
Frightening.
If you're not sure which it is, a vague "I agree; this is hard on all of us right now" or some such is always appropriate.
