Why not just block this toxic friend from your e-mail? Ripping her an e-mail filled with anger does nothing other than giving her the reaction she was expecting from you.
Protect your children. They have been through way too much as it is. If your W cannot commit to a simple phone call then avoid having your child hurt by not putting anybody in a position again to not follow through.
I agree there is a huge difference in being sorry and showing remorse. The thing is, the WAS may never show remorse in the way you need/want them to. Again, focus on you. You are doing way too much speculating about your W.
