Oh Mila I feel so bad for you now, hearing those words is so hard I know and having no one close who really understands the pain (except us here who have been through it) is very hard, I listened 3 times to the I love the OW and we had such problems in our marriage before the affair (when all along you thought your marriage was a good one a strong one.) You are right he wants to feel good and see's the "no responsibility" route as the easiest way to go after all if he chose to reconcile with you he would have to deal with everything he has done to you and your D.
The time will come eventually when he will have to deal with those things and I hope you have the patience to see it through. Every day for me is a struggle, the more hurt he causes the more I question a R, then I remind myself how miserable and lost he is and I realise that although I feel pain he feels it too but will never show it.
Keep your chin up, find things to make YOU happy and enjoy your daughter...sending ((((hugs)))) your way
