Awesome! Has the patience returned? Allow me to give you some more insight into what I have thought about. If it helps you then great, if not that's OK.
So, I have thougtht things like "what is my W's problem?", "why can't we just work this out?", "why is she acting like this?".
I also have thoughts like "I can just get someone else", "Someone else probably won't treat ME this way" etc.
Then I realize this. My best chance of a long term, fulfilling relationship is with my current wife (look up divorce rates on second marriages). If my W & I do divorce, it sounds so good (as it probably does to your W right now) to think "hey, this might be kinda fun". You know, those fuzzy feelings that someone wants to be around you again. Wow!
Of course, another problem is that your first W is STILL in your life, especially if you got kiddos. Rarely are there not regrets by both parties at some point after a divorce. Internally, divorce is a form of failure that is experienced.
So, I like your game plan. Meet with your W and listen, listen, listen. You may have complicated things a little by going on a dating website, but I understand the need for an ego boost. I've wanted them myself.
Just don't communicate TO her that this is her last chance, even if you're thinking it is. That WON'T go over well.
