I agree that everyone has to make the decision that's best for them when it comes to dating while separated/still married. I think the best piece of advice I was given was from a friend of mine who is divorced (and did date while separated) and was in the form of a question.
He regretted dating while separated and asked me to consider this question....
"Do you think it would make a possible reconciliation more complicated, or less complicated?"
In my sitch, H made it much more complicated when he banged OW in my bed. And then painted me into a corner, so that the sanest decision was for me to move, since he refused to. At this juncture, I don't give a flying fox that my OM is added a little bit more complication to the sitch that my H has entirely orchestrated.
H is a big boy. H f*&ked other woman; turn about is fair play. Had H kept his word and not had A, I'd have kept mine and not done the exact same thing.
The thought of dating/finding someone new has crossed my mind a number of times. I can't deny that. My H did have an A and I feel that if I went out and dated, it WOULD indeed complicate things. My feelings would be compromised. Perhaps I would be distracted and probably not view my H in the way that I did (meaning that I probably would realize that I didn't want my H). I think about how H viewed me while he was in his A, how when I cried or broke down or was in pain over his betrayal it didn't phase him.
It didn't phase him because his feelings were already compromised. He had emotionally checked out of our M and was now emotionally vested in the R with the OW. For me, it was adding to the problem.
NOW, ALL sitchs are different. While we all share alot of the same pain, we have difference specifics in our sitchs.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
