She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[steady]

Good tbart. You drew your boundary. Now stick to it.

It's not your job to shut your D down. Your D has a mind of her own and is allowed to express that as long as it isn't disrespectful to you or your W. If there's friction between your D and your W it's your wife's job to address it - not yours. I'm not saying you don't address it with D, but it isn't your responsibility. That lies on the shoulders of your W.

My W moved into the spare room 3 months before she told me she wanted a D. She used to treat me the same as your W. When the kids were there we were polite and cordial, but as soon as they went to bed she would retire to her room and stay in there.

Don't ignore her but don't pursue her. Act like she's a quiet roommate when you're around her. If you ignore her you're stooping to her level and giving her fuel for her fire. Be polite and cordial but don't make any attempts to engage her. You have to get to a mindset where what she's doing doesn't bother you. She'll eat her own negativity that way.

You're right on target when you say you don't deserve to be treated the way she is treating you. It's passive aggressive behavior and it's there to 'punish' you for 'making' her do something she didn't want to do. Call her on it like you did if she continues.

Keep us posted.